It’s an imperative statement, as in, “you, light worker, just be….” be the light that you are. But its easier to say it, or write it, than it is to be it. I also see it as a “light worker bee” someone spreading light and love, working in tandem with a whole community of worker bees, each doing their part for the highest good for all.
I am starting this blog to talk about how difficult it can be to truly be yourself, and to support others in listening to the most important voice of all, their own. This is especially true when that means you work with energy, your intuitive gifts, are into crystals and or generally work with tools that to some, seem “woo-woo,” or “out there,” as in, crazy town…
You have to be able to get over the fact that you feel like a weirdo, doing certain things, or when learning a new skill that sounds so out there and different, even though you know that its magical and amazing. You can only imagine possible potential freak-outs by certain people or people not even knowing how to react to you…as in like dead silence. Like no one responds ; nobody knows what to say…
I have felt those pangs of panic when posting or thinking about posting something that may make me seem weird, strange or otherwise not liked, putting myself out there, being vulnerable to criticism. There is a feeling in your chest like a sucking, a crushing…like what did I just do? Like you just ran out in the street in your underwear. But these are just beliefs, and you know what, some people may not respond to you in a positive way, but that’s OK. You have to be ok with that.
Theres a card in the Crowley Thoth Tarot deck that talks about all these masks that we wear in life, and you know you might continue wearing some of them, but its really about dropping the masks. I have a distinct memory of pondering about this driving one day several years ago and thinking how awesome that would be – and then immediately thinking, well that’s impossible, that would be crazy! I ask myself why? Why are we so afraid? Why do we care? Who really cares anyway? When everyone is thinking about themselves. Because it can run deep and long, and it’s no wonder it takes a while to work its way out.
Fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of ridicule, fear that others will think we are showing off, fear that more will be expected of us, and the list goes on and on. These concepts are universal. We start out as pure and all shiny new, but then veils begin to be put over our truest of selves, as we learn to navigate the world.
We don’t start out this way; children don’t act this way. They are (we were) free little spirits, carefree and totally ourselves, until one day, some event, sometimes seemingly harmless, dims that light a bit, or maybe a lot. This work unearths a lot of stuff, which in turn can create more questions, like where did this come from? Is this belief even mine? But so much is there to uncover and heal, so you can move forward and push past self imposed limits.
Doing a lot of deep personal spiritual work, I have learned how truly embedded these automatically running programs can be, and they are automatic. That is why I have been working to undo and reprogram old patterns, beliefs and habits. It’s just amazing to me how truly unconscious this whole process can be and generally is. It is also a miracle of life that you can change this by becoming aware of it, and then making a different choice. But this unfolding is an ongoing process, and I am sharing my perspective because I have gone through major shifts, but am always in a state of evolution, and I want to support and inspire others on this path of awakening.
Be kind to yourself. I think that is always the best advice for any situation and it always applies. Doesn’t matter if you made a mistake, or if you were wrong or acted selfish or think you acted selfish, etc… It doesn’t make sense to not support your friend when she would come to you in a time of distress. Think about your kindness to others and give it to yourself. Then you have even more to give. You also open yourself up to receiving love and kindness from others. Its actually quite magical. When you are not kind to yourself, besides the spiritual and emotional layers, you are actually hurting your physical body, on the cellular level. Love yourself flaws and all.
So I am taking my own advice, which is so hard by the way…why is that always so hard!? There are so many tangents I want to go off on right now, but I am going to conclude by telling you that I am just amazed at the synchronicity of events in my life that have led me to this very point in time. Today is the full moon, the last of this year, and this blog is the culmination of many events over many years, and also the beginning of another chapter in my life. I love exploring synchronicity, signs from the universe, etc… and I could go on and on about that, and I will, but not now. I can actually sense the ripples of positivity and love that I am sending out, knowing that I am making a difference.
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Bee the light,